The Inevitable Palate Cleanser

On August 8, 2012, I came across this letter from a father to his son.  The letter represents a father, rather coldly and matter-of-factly, disowning his son after learning that his son is gay.  As with a range of horrors in the world, I know that these things happen but find myself unable to actually believe that they do.  Seeing it in such stark and unapologetic terms rattled me, broke my heart, and filled me with anger and sadness.  I needed to find a palate cleanser.  I needed to find some show of love and understanding that would wash away the bigotry and coldness I had just seen.  Unfortunately, I had other matters to attend to and no time to look.  But it didn't matter.  I knew that, before too long, the palate cleanser would find me.

In the modern world, with its blogs and its Facebook and its Twitter and everything else, I knew there would be a swift rebuke.  And there was.  Early in the morning of August 9, I logged on to Twitter and found a link to this letter from a father (and blogger) to his unborn, hypothetically gay son.  The letter is one of unequivocal love and support.  It is, in no uncertain terms, beautiful, inspirational, and (as a bonus) pretty funny.  It took me less than 24 hours to find it.

Often times, modern media and internet culture (if you can call it that) is rightfully criticized for being an echo chamber that rapidly gins up hysteria and anger.  But it can also be, as it was here, an engine for solidarity and optimism.  It can give voice to many people, allowing them to shout back in the face of ugliness.  When you see something horrifying and hateful, you can expect a response that is equally as inspiring and loving.  Often, it is the loudest person employing the most incendiary rhetoric who steals all of our attention.  The democratization of the internet (i.e., widespread access that undermines the control of the traditional media), whatever failings it may have, provides an antidote to that.  It reminds us that we are not alone.  Sometimes, that's all we need.

Louis CK, Interesting

Louis CK's mind dissects the world with surgical precision, always searching for the interesting.  And that is why he is currently the Funniest Man in the World (official title).  While all comedians, or at least the good ones, probably see the world a bit askew, CK's ability to hone in on fine distinctions sets him apart.  It seems that, while everyone else is busy screaming at one another, CK's mind immediately targets the specifics of what people say and how people behave.  And when he relays what he sees to the world, the result is invariably eye-opening.  One immediately sees the undeniable truth in what he says.  It's a refreshing break from all of the endless noise that surrounds us.  If you don't know what I'm talking about, here are a few examples.


Last summer, comedian Tracy Morgan came under fire for what was perceived by many as a homophobic rant.  Reportedly, part of what Morgan said was that, if his son were gay, he "better talk to me like a man and not in a gay voice or I'll pull out a knife and stab that little n**ger to death."  Most people were -- somewhat understandably -- horrified by this statement, and condemned Morgan accordingly.  


Not CK, who had a more nuanced response.  CK saw Morgan's comments as an opportunity for discussion about the meaning of masculinity. From CK's perspective, Morgan was saying: "If my son is gay, he better come to me about it like a man and not come to me [and tell me in an effeminate voice]."  In that light, Morgan wasn't attacking homosexuality.  Rather, he was expressing an inability to understand a man not behaving "like a man," regardless of his sexual orientation.  And Morgan's idea of what it means to be a "man" is, in his view, incompatible with speaking in a stereotypically gay voice.  


CK found Morgan's sentiment to be a "very different idea" and "a profoundly confusing thought."  And CK felt that people in the gay community should have talked to Morgan to better understand where his idea of masculinity stems from.  That "could have been a starting point of a conversation that might have actually made a difference in the way people feel about homophobia."  To savage Morgan and fail to appreciate the nuance of his statement was a lost opportunity for growth.  Those on the attack, unlike CK, did not see the interesting.


This past June, CK expressed a similar appreciation for the interesting on Bill Simmons' podcast, the BS Report.  CK revealed that he is a huge sports fan, but he doesn't consume sports in the manner as most of us.  CK, again, looks for the interesting.  CK is a huge Manny Pacqiao fan, but he wasn't angry about the judges robbing Pacqiao of a victory over Timothy Bradley.  Rather, CK was excited, because this story is more interesting than Pacqiao simply winning another fight.  Now, questions arise.  What happened?  How will Pacquiao respond?  What will happen in the rematch?  CK's fighter lost, but the story is now so much better.


Similarly, CK is a New England Patriots fan.  But when the Patriots were 18-0 and heavily favored heading into Super Bowl XLII against the New York Giants, CK found himself rooting for the Giants.  Why?  Because it's more interesting to see the juggernaut lose.  The Patriots completing an undefeated  it was, at the time, what was supposed to happen.  It was expected.  For all of CK's teams (he mentioned the Bruins as well), he likes to see how they react when they lose.  Losing on the biggest stage, with all the media hype surrounding the undefeated season, would potentially reveal a great deal about the character of the Patriots players and coaches.  Now, maybe you say he isn't a real fan, and you might be right.  But that isn't the point.  For CK, sports isn't just about seeing his teams win or lose.  He wants to see what the results of the competition reveal about the people who compete.  CK, it seems, is all about people.


Most recently, Daniel Tosh got into some trouble for an altercation with a patron at a comedy club over some jokes dealing with rape.  Many feminists viciously condemned Tosh, and many comedians forcefully defended him.  CK did neither.  After addressing what turned out to be misunderstood as joining the chorus of comedians defending Tosh, CK gave his thoughts on the issue.  In doing so, CK did not attack or defend Tosh.  Rather, he attacked the noise itself.  He noted that this was a fight between comedians and bloggers, who produce a large volume of "hyperbole and garbage."  Further, as CK says it, comedians "can't take criticism," and feminists "can't take a joke."  To CK, though, "all dialogue is positive."  The person on the other side of a debate may open your eyes to things you did not know or understand.  They may not change your view, but they will give you a more expansive view of the world around you.  That's how you grow as a person.


CK's work is consistently fantastic.  His stand-up and his critically-acclaimed FX show are hilarious, challenging, and thought-provoking.  When you hear CK give his thoughts on the world around him, you can understand why.  Rather than give in to the noise and knee jerk reactions, CK zeroes in on the most interesting and important elements of human interaction.  Let's hope he keeps it up, because as of now, it's inspiring some of the most wonderful art in the world today.  

A Belated Defense of Kendrick Perkins

Here's a piece I wrote for Third and Four:

I would like to thank Chris Ryan for being unable to let something go.  A few months ago, LA Clippers star Blake Griffin threw down a rather impressive dunk on Oklahoma City’s defensive-minded center, Kendrick Perkins.  At the time, many commentators felt that it was necessary to not only praise Griffin’s athleticism, but to mock Perkins — who was simply trying to do his job — as well.  This was disgraceful, and, sadly, representative of the sports media (and media in general) as a whole.  I wanted to write something about it, but I was too busy and time passed.  Now, two months later, Chris Ryan has decided to refer back to Griffin’s “postering” of and “mid-air obituary” for Perkins.  In doing so, he perpetuates the most negative aspects of the media, but has reopened the door for me to say my peace.  So thanks again, Chris Ryan.

Kendrick Perkins plays defense.  And he plays it hard.  Because of this, it is widely known that Perk is a Beast.  Now, it shouldn’t be noteworthy that a man who gets paid millions of dollars to play a game actually works hard on the defensive end of the floor, but it is.  Perkins is limited in his offensive abilities, but he is unquestionably a valuable NBA player because he is a large man (even by NBA standards) who plays defense and grabs rebounds with a fury that far exceeds most others in the league.  This fury led to Perkins trying to defend Griffin on a play where, in reality, Perkins had little chance of defensive success.  Griffin is too big, too athletic, had too much momentum, and was too close to the rim for Perkins to stop him.  Of course, in real time, it’s hard to make that kind of judgment, so Perkins tried and failed.  Griffin threw down an incredible dunk.  Perkins was posterized.

This same fate has fallen upon other NBA players, which makes sense.  If you work on the defensive end, it almost certainly will happen to you.  Some of your opponents will have extraordinary physical gifts, and your attempts to stop them will be in vain.  Of course, other NBA players are never posterized.  They avoid doing so in a rather simple manner: they don’t attempt to play defense.  When an opposing player elevates to dunk, they simply let him do so.  Nobody ever writes their “mid-air obituaries.”  They never look foolish on SportsCenter’s Top 10 Plays of the Night.

In fact, SportsCenter’s Top 10 probably perhaps best captures the problem I am addressing.  How often on the Top 10 do you see some version of the following: “A monster dunk by Player X.  His team lost by 20 points” or “A monster dunk from Player X, but he had a rough night overall.  He shot 2-847 from the floor and had eleventy billion turnovers”?  If his team got crushed or he had a terrible game, why should we celebrate Player X’s monster dunk?  He had a bad night.  He did not help his team win.  He did not perform his job.  We are celebrating the momentary individual achievement over the team.  We are celebrating the meaningless over the valuable.

And in team sports, one of the most valuable attributes a player can have is defensive intensity.  It is no coincidence that NBA champions frequently have a player on their roster who is there for his defense.  Defense is fundamental to winning, and it’s fundamentals that should be celebrated.  Kobe Bryant best illustrates this point.  Bryant is a star because he is a prodigious scorer, but he is one of the greatest players of all time because of his fundamentals.  He is widely known as one of the league’s elite defenders.  Even his scoring is predicated largely on fundamentals, as he has one of the greatest mid-range games of all time.  This gets ignored.  Watch the Top 10 and tell me how many mid-range jump shots you see.

What I want is for us to celebrate consistent hard work and effort over a single flashy play, celebrate substance over style.  Bryant has his fundamentals because he is a notoriously obsessive worker. Likewise, defensive success is predicated mostly on tenacity.  Perkins, on that famous play, put forth effort and came up short.  There are countless plays, however, where Perkins’s effort will lead to success.  The Oklahoma City Thunder are one of the best teams in the league, one of the most complete teams in the league, and one of the favorites to at least reach, if not win, the 2012 NBA title.  Kendrick Perkins is a major reason why. 

We should all approach work and life the way Perkins plays defense.  Work hard.  Be tenacious.  Make the most of the talents we have.  And when we see our personal Blake Griffin charging toward the hoop, have the courage to step in and try to stop him, even if we probably can’t.  Griffin’s dunk on Perkins should not be referred to as “postering” or a “mid-air obituary” or any other crime against the English language.  It should be referred to as a man, Perkins, working hard to do his job and, in one moment, failing to succeed.  Perkins should be praised, not mocked.  Regardless, I would imagine that, because Perkins is a professional, he has shaken off that night and that moment.  I would imagine he still plays defense with heart and without fear.  I hope so.  It’s a lesson that all of us can and should import into our own lives.  Here’s hoping the sports media find some cute terminology to promote that story, too.

- Jack Rollo